22. Question about comments on statusupdates, social norms, and surprise comments.

Today I asked the following question:

Does it sometime surprise you, who comments on your status updates?


28) I haven't been surprised by people who have commented. I have been happy, sometimes, to have that little bit of contact, though, with someone that I haven't seen/talked to in a long time.


29) I have gotten surprised a couple of times. For example, if I post something that is of a spiritual/religious nature, and someone who I didn't know about their walk, would comment. It would also please me to see those comments, and to get comments from people I hadn't seen/talked to in a while.


30) Mostly happy - surprised


Question for 30):  Is it because you didnt expect to hear from them?


30) yes.. exactly. But maybe its also because of the Facebook god, that decides who shows up on your homepage.. or something like that?


Question for 30):  Yes it selects in news feed. But I was thinking more in the likes of, when you write a status update, if you have someone in mind, that will think this is funny, or relate to it, and someone you didnt think of at all, comments. 


30): Yeah sure. Because I didnt expect to hear from them, and because I am wondering, why do they comment on this...


31) I get surprised when someone I havent spoken to in a while, suddentle comments on something. But then I am also glad, because I get to thinking, that there is still a reason why we are friends on Facebook. 


Question for 31): Do you also get surprised, because it might be out of context. If you write something that was meant for a particular circle of friends? 


31) Hmm.. it is often the people I am thinking that will comment who ends of commenting. And if somebody unexpectedly comments, I imagine that they are still in that particular segment, but rarely comment because they rarely use Facebook. 


32) Yes. but rarely. 


Question for 32): why?


32) Mostly it is the same people that comment on the status updates. But sometimes a former colleague or classmate, I havent heard from in a long time, will comment. I dont know why, but it is nice. It is typically if I write something out of the ordinary, that doesnt contain what movie I just went and saw, or what I had for dinner. 


Question for 32): So you get surprised because it is people that you dont expect to comment? 


32) Yes exactly.


Question for 32): Have you ever had the experience, where people comment something like: "What are you talking about?" or "I dont know what you are referring to in this status update?"  or did you ever comment somebody elses status update, because you knew you didnt fit into the segment of that status update - that the status update wasnt meant for you as an audience?  


Do you think there is an unwritten rule, that you just dont do that on Facebook? 


32) Under normal circumstances I wouldnt comment on updates that wasnt meant for me as an audience. ( or wasnt written in an open way to everybody). The only exception I can think of, if it is someone I know extremely well, like my husband or a really close friend. Some people have a tendency to write really cryptic updates. On these I will somethimes comment with a questionmark, but mostly because it is disguised - who it is really meant for. 


But yes, just like in real life, you dont answer inquiries that is meant for somebody else, unless it is a person you know extremely well. To me it is the same social norms offline, that apply just as well for the internet.

Question for 32): Did you ever start commenting on something and then have a change of heart, thinking: ahh I am on the outskirts of this circle,  I dont think I am part of the audience for this status update?

32) Indeed, yes many times and often. Primarily it happens when it is the type of person where you are in doubt. It is the kind of person you would have doubts whether or not they wanted to talk to you if you were at the same party.